December 2022

*If you missed Part I, check it out here*

Part II: The Old Guy

I'm not ready to give up playing soccer, no matter how badly I felt I played in my game a few weeks ago or because Dr. Google tells me my physicality is at a progressive decline. 

I started to think about why I felt I played so terribly other than the obvious reasons, I barely play anymore, it's hard to build continuity with the team when I don't play every week, and my lack of training at that level in general on top of getting older/slower. As I decline physically the mental part has always been able to hold me up. I’ve been able to make smarter decisions on the field, bait players into doing things I want them to do, and all around be disruptive for the opposing team.

Drinking coffee after another ‘late’ game ;)

As I started to frame the why, it helped me realize that even though I am not physically what I used to be (GEESH this field feels huge), I could still contribute and be an asset for my team. I had to fight off all the negative self-talk about being too tired to play late on Monday nights (which I am) and that my team is probably upset that I’m not showing up consistently (which I doubt). It took turning up for another game and a little mental unraveling to realize that what was going to be most impactful is positive self talk OR at the very least neutral self talk. 

I started to tell myself that I could still play with these guys and that I still had a lot more to say about it. I started leaning in, attacking instead of retreating. I started taking the game to them. And you know what? It wasn’t perfect, but it felt like the old me. It felt like the guy who started with no confidence and had to mostly convince himself that he belonged.

All this to say, my point is not about soccer or getting old. It’s about life. 

When we consider something scary and challenging we automatically review everything that could go wrong. We're wired to examine the negative first. It’s not surprising that there are so many people toward the end of their life that regret so much more about what they didn’t do vs. what they did do. By nature, I am more conservative and shy, but I don’t want to look back on my life and say what if I did try, then what?

Speaking positively - out loud or in your own head is the first step. When the next thing that scares you comes up, get past the negative and start asking yourself WHAT IF IT WORKED? Some may think you’re a dreamer but you know what… I’d rather be a dreamer than someone who looks back on my life and is disappointed that I chose to sit on the bench rather than play out of fear of what might happen. Cheers to more growth and peace in 2023!