June 2025

Dad Mode Activated: Imperfect, Involved & Still Learning

Happy place… :)

May is for Moms — and rightfully so. They do it all. But if May is for Moms, then June must be for Dads. And it only makes sense Moms get that extra day in May (31 days to 30 days). Let’s be honest — they’ve earned it.

As a husband, son, and father of four, I’ve seen up close just how much Moms carry. Not just the physical load — laundry, meals, homework — but the invisible mental load. They’re the ones who remember school spirit days, the ones who can recite practice schedules by heart, and who know where the scotch tape actually is (hint: it’s probably where it always is). It’s incredible when you stop to think about it. I still don’t know how my Mom kept it all straight without a color-coded iPhone calendar.

But today, I want to talk to the Dads.

The Role Has Changed — and That’s a Good Thing

To be fair to my own Dad, Stepdad, and Grandfather — times have changed. The role of the modern father has evolved, and frankly, expectations are higher. Dads are more involved than ever — not just in bedtime routines and carpools, but in the daily decisions that shape our families. We help guide our kids’ relationships with technology, food, friends, social media — and we do it all while trying to be present, available, emotionally in tune, and productive at work.

I wouldn’t want it any other way. But I’ll be the first to admit: it’s not easy.

The Juggling Act

I’m six years into fatherhood now, and I still find myself scratching my head. I talk to other Dads all the time, trying to figure out how to juggle everything. And here’s what I’ve learned: Women tend to be naturally better jugglers. They pivot quickly, shift from task to conversation to conflict and back again. Dads (or at least this Dad) struggle more with ambiguity, with things left unfinished, with spinning too many plates at once.

And that can feel lonely.

The truth is, many men suffer in silence. Mental health issues don’t always show up as tears — they show up as irritability, withdrawal, anger, or overuse of substances. Men are more likely to die by suicide and more likely to feel isolated, and yet we’re less likely to seek help.

Breaking the Pattern

I’ve dealt with a lot of grief in my life — losing my Mom to cancer at 27, my Stepdad to suicide at 25, and both grandparents soon after. Most recently, I lost my sister just 18 months ago. It was my Mom who pushed us to try therapy after my Stepdad passed, and I can honestly say it changed my life. Without her insistence, I never would’ve gone.

When my wife told me last year that she thought I was still carrying unprocessed anger from my sister’s passing — and that it was showing up in our home — I didn’t want to hear it. But I needed to. It pushed me to ask hard questions and seek better answers. And one of the answers, for me, has been writing.

This post — this reflection — is part of that healing. So, thank you for reading.

Men Need Community Too

Last year I started a quarterly men’s group. Nothing fancy — just a standing date to meet for a beer and connect. And you know what? It’s been one of the most meaningful things I’ve done in a long time. Sometimes all it takes is a space to talk, laugh, and remember you’re not the only one trying to figure it out.

I also recently attended my second men’s retreat through my church. The biggest lesson I took home? That the biggest competition we face is often with ourselves. And that improvement doesn’t come from guilt or shame — it comes from courage and curiosity.

A Challenge for the Summer

If you’re a Dad reading this — I challenge you.

Start the conversation. Whether it’s with your partner, your kids, your friends — or a therapist.

Check in with yourself. If you’re not sure how you’re showing up, ask someone who knows you. You might be surprised by how much better you’re doing than you think.

Go First. Hold the door. Smile. Offer a compliment. Create the world you want your kids to grow up in.

Invest in your mental health. You can’t pour from an empty cup — and your family needs you full.

June is Men’s Mental Health Month. More than 6 million men suffer from depression each year. You are not alone — and you don’t have to muscle through it silently.

Let’s show up with humility, consistency, and the willingness to grow — even when we’re not sure how. That’s what strong dads do.

Here’s to a summer of connection, reflection, and maybe a little more grace for ourselves.